Captain Hook

When someone's dick is too small to grab with the whole hand when masturbating, they use one finger, looking like a pirate hook.

A:"Why's Tilly so mad?"
B:"Mike caught him Captain Hooking, now we all know he's got a lil cock"

by Cool cunt January 2, 2017

captain sandals

A bartender who wears sandals and jeans, is obsessed with turning the televisions ever so slightly, and can not let you drink a beer without a coaster. He also sits with hot girls after his shifts and asks them if they want a drink, goes behind the bar to get them, and then he puts it on their tab. Big Dave Matthews fan.

Oh no, there's a coaster under my pitcher if beer, is captain sandals working?

by bangedyourmom69 January 18, 2017

Captain Morgan stance

When a guy takes a piss with his foot propped up on something (Usually the side of the bath tub) like Captain Morgan stands with his foot on a barrel.

I like your bathroom, I can pee Captain Morgan stance in it.

by DrKarate September 20, 2012

Captain Slaphappy

One who frequently masterbates

"Anyone seen john?" "Who? Captain Slaphappy?; probably off doing the deed"

by winterkyles January 4, 2013

Captain Cracker

When a White guy takes to much pride in the simple fact that he is a White person

Person 1: "Oh boy! im sure proud i was born a White guy!!!!"
Person 2: "Shut up Captain Cracker."

by lil Buddha September 6, 2013

Captain and his crew

Penis and ball sacks.

At the nude beach, I let the captain and his crew sail free on the open ocean.

by Mcpenis September 6, 2013

Captained

It's when someone is sitting next to something you can do the captains pose and fart next to them. Or in their face...... Even better!

There was an empty chair next to him so I captained him!

by Paulie Bhoy September 27, 2013