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Jonathan

Jonathan has the biggest dick out of everyone. His mammoth penis will make EVERY man question their masculinity. He is also a handsome devil, and a magnet to the ladies! The white ones get n-word passes!
“Do you know who Jonathan is?”

Of course i know him, he has an elephant wang!”
by Not Jonathan June 25, 2022
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Jonathan

Jonathan is an average tall looking guy. He is usually pretty decent but he can be very very rude and make you feel very bad. He will most likely make you want to slit your throat in the end. A Jonathan is two faced, one is an angel and the other a manipulator.
Person A: *gaslights*

Person B: Jesus christ you're such a Jonathan! You always do this.
by anonymous February 15, 2022
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Jonathan

A fucking lazy diptard who doesn't come to school for multiple days in a row, and no one gives a shit. But is still surprisingly really good at school work.
Oh shit Jonathan's not here again, what a surprise. I bet her jerking off to gay porn again!
by Longsholngbongtongnigga69 December 5, 2019
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Jonathan

A complete dumbass that is looking at his friends phone right now. He smells like shit and is atleast 5 foot and is a complete retard. He always tells fake stories to his friends and says it actually happens.
Jonathan is a faggot.
by Jaba The Fuck January 27, 2020
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Jonathan

by Deslselerlrr December 5, 2018
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Jonathan

A Jonathan is a clear plastic water bottle of any size filled halfway or all the way with water, stuffed with basically any piece of plastic or paper or dirt you can find and held as a keepsake. You shake it and just bring it around with you.

Walking to a job interview? Bring your homemade Jonathan with you. Funeral? Jonathan's coming with you too.

Some ideas of materials to put in your Jonathan include moldy bread, anti-brain zap tablet boxes, or anything you can find. You can purchase ready-made Jonathans in Argos.
Elliot: Hey Brad! Whatcha got there?
Brad: Hi Elliott! Oh, this old thing? This is a Jonathan. I made it myself.
by Pianopunkxo August 20, 2017
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Jonathan

A cowboy baby 🤠
Jonathan: Wow look at that yeeyee juice I'mma drink it
Friend: NOOO
Jonathan: I got the horses in the back :))
Hand over the toes or I'll go to trader Joe's
by C.A.T.H.Y March 28, 2019
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