Monkeys Paw

The term used to describe the itchy feeling one gets from a hemorrhoid.

I think that guy has a monkeys paw in his shorts, he sure is squirming around in his seat a lot.

by jaz October 28, 2004

monkey paw

A kind of long sleeve shirt with a hole at the end of the sleeve through which you can pass your thumb. Helps keep the sleeves down and helps keep your wrist and part of your hand warm.

Nice shirt, oh it has monkey paws too? Sweet!

by cecil_t December 30, 2013

monkey paw

when the hand is formed into a hook and used to pull desirable objects toward oneself

you just monkey pawed me!

by Boo Bear May 30, 2008

Monkey Paw

When you when you're fisting a chick in the ass and she shits in your hand. You proceeded to take the shit and throw it at her like a monkey.

I showed her my affection towards her by giving her a steamy monkey paw

by Oprah's moustache August 7, 2012

south paw monkey spanker

One who uses his left hand to jack, whack, choke the chicken, spank the monkey, attack the one-eyed purple-headed warrior or in other words, MASTURBATE!

A lefty, per say

May be a person that writes, hits, or even smokes with his right hand but gallops the old lizzard with his left hand.

Also referred to as an S.P.M.P.

Kristine: So I used my teloscope last night and looked into Ray's window. Did you know that he is a South Paw Monkey Spanker?

Derek: So I applied for this new job at the Home Depot, and my boss wanted to know if I was an S.P.M.P. and I'm all wtf? On occasion, though, I do, do the five kunckle shuffle with 'ol Lefty!

Janet: Hey Bobby?
Bobby: Yes Janet?
Janet: Do you participate in genital stimulation via phallengetic motion with your left hand?
Bobby: Why yes, I am an S.P.M.P.!

by Emas Diez May 9, 2006

monkey paw

The struggle of someone with small hand trying to grasp a big item

I totally had to monkey paw the big phone

by Royroy February 17, 2015

Monkey's Paw

A "monkeys paw" is when you're taking a shower and you're out of wash cloths Once you get to washing your ass, you soap up your hand and get down there to clean it all out with that soapy bare hand. You're then left with a clean ass but in return, no matter how much you clean that hand, it feels dirty for the rest of the day.

I cant eat tacos today, I gave myself a Monkey's paw this morning and I forgot which hand it was.

by Dandalorian December 15, 2022