when a person thinks he’s at his best ,then something horrible happens to him but eventually he’s way better than before and so on
by sushirice828 July 4, 2022
Get the mountain theory mug."That girl wanted me when I was with my ex, now she likes me as a friend. What gives?"
"Mockery's Theory, man"
"Mockery's Theory, man"
by Mypseudonymisbest February 23, 2022
Get the Mockery's Theory mug.The Alonso-Schumacher Theory is the theory that if a person, often in a formal or casual competition, has something or someone they truly care about, they are, on average, less likely to take risks even if might really benefit them.
Based on a quote attributed to Formula One driver Fernando Alonso that talked about his fellow competitor Michael Schumacher at the 2005 Japanese Grand Prix ("I knew he'd brake, he has a wife and two kids at home"), the theory is named after them.
Based on a quote attributed to Formula One driver Fernando Alonso that talked about his fellow competitor Michael Schumacher at the 2005 Japanese Grand Prix ("I knew he'd brake, he has a wife and two kids at home"), the theory is named after them.
"Y'know, Rhys's lap times could really be improved by half a second... it's like he's unwilling to go 100%."
"It's probably because he just got engaged, he can't leave his future wife."
"Ah, the Alonso-Schumacher theory in action, never gets old"
"It's probably because he just got engaged, he can't leave his future wife."
"Ah, the Alonso-Schumacher theory in action, never gets old"
by TheManFromOsaka January 12, 2026
Get the Alonso-Schumacher Theory mug.The belief that what you learned in school is a sanitized fairy tale, and that real history is a hidden narrative of power struggles, secret elites, and suppressed truths. Professor Jiang’s “Secret History” lectures claim to strip away the official myths to reveal how power actually works—often through covert networks, ideological manipulation, and recurring cycles of corruption and collapse. It’s for people who think history class was a CIA plot and that the real story is always juicier, darker, and more consequential.
“Bro, Secret History Theory says the Roman Empire didn’t fall because of barbarians—it was a secret cult of billionaire patricians who engineered the crisis to reset the debt clock. That’s why we’re living in the Pax Americana version 2.0.”
by Abzugal January 24, 2026
Get the Secret History Theory mug.A method of forecasting the future by treating history like a repeating algorithm. Inspired by Isaac Asimov’s “psychohistory,” Jiang argues that large‑scale human behavior follows predictable patterns—like the rise and fall of empires, the outcomes of great‑power rivalries, and the timing of major wars. By identifying these “historical structures,” you can supposedly make scarily accurate prophecies about coming events. It’s geopolitics meets fortune‑telling, with a Yale degree.
“Predictive History Theory nailed the 2024 U.S. election and the Iran‑Israel conflict a year in advance. Next up? It says China will peak in 2035 and then face a ‘Soviet‑style’ unraveling. Check the charts, man.”
by Abzugal January 24, 2026
Get the Predictive History Theory mug.The idea that a new world order led by Jewish intellectual, financial, and political influence is emerging—a “Jewish peace” that will replace the fading Pax Americana. Jiang’s lecture on the topic draws on biblical prophecy, historical models of diaspora power, and game‑theory calculations to argue that Jewish elites (especially in the U.S. and Israel) are uniquely positioned to steer global affairs without direct empire‑building. It’s a controversial, often conspiracy‑tinged forecast of a post‑Western hegemony.
“Pax Judaica Theory claims that within 50 years, the real capital won’t be Washington or Beijing—it’ll be Tel Aviv and New York City. The ‘chosen people’ will finally be the choosers, and the rest of us will just pay the rent.”
by Abzugal January 24, 2026
Get the Pax Judaica Theory mug.The art of using historical analogies as a playbook for modern statecraft. Jiang’s “Geo‑Strategy” series treats today’s great‑power contests as reruns of past conflicts—comparing U.S.‑China tensions to Athens vs. Sparta, or Iran’s regional maneuvering to the Persian Empire’s old games. The theory holds that leaders who understand these templates can avoid classic traps and outmaneuver their rivals. It’s like Sun Tzu meets a history‑channel binge.
“Geo‑Strategy Theory warned that the U.S. getting bogged down in the Middle East was a repeat of the ‘Roman overstretch’ mistake. Next time, maybe we’ll listen to the professor instead of the generals.”
by Abzugal January 24, 2026
Get the Geo‑Strategy Theory mug.