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Aztec flicker gooning

A variation of regular flicker gooning (masturbating or "gooning" while repeatedly flicking the tip of the penis at a quick pace to achieve farther ejaculation), said to have been created by the Aztecs around 1300.

The Aztec flicker gooning technique was so effective that cumshots could reach distances of 100 to 500 meters. Some Aztecs, who specialized in this technique, could reportedly shoot as far as 1000 meters.

Not only was it capable of extreme range, but it also provided a level of pleasure unmatched by any other form of masturbation.

According to legend, Aztec warriors used this technique as a weapon, with their semen traveling at such speed and distance that it could heavily wound enemies upon impact.

Some believe that flicker gooning played a role in Aztec rituals, to summon or bring sacrifices to the gods of gooning and edging. Though there are not enough sources to confirm this for certain.

Unfortunately, after the European conquest of the Aztec Empire in 1521, all knowledge of how to perform the Aztec flicker gooning technique was lost.
"We learned about the Aztec Empire in history class today. Their gooning technique was wild. I wish I could learn the Aztec flicker gooning technique and shoot my load 500 meters!"
by Sir. Glizzy III November 15, 2024
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Romanian Flicker Gooning

Romanian Flicker Gooning is the act of masturbation over and over until you summon the Dacian Goon God. It is said that it came from the so called "Baragan" place which is located in the Danube-Carpathian zone. Ancient manuscripts provide us information that it was invented by the thracians about 2400 years ago , but sadly the art of Romanian Flicker Gooning was lost during the battle of "Golberi" in 73 B.C.E .
I used to be the national champion at Romanian Flicker Gooning !
by SaviAllDogs December 1, 2024
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Atomic Bosnian Flicker Gooning

A variation of Bosnian Flicker Gooning where one pays 3 or more Bosnian homeless men to continually smash the tip of your penis with a hammer until the atoms in the tip of your penis demolecularize and the individual atoms get split causing a nuclear fission reaction which then causes a nuclear explosion.
Did you know that the Chernobyl explosion was actually caused because an employee performed Atomic Bosnian Flicker Gooning.
by NeuralOwl12345 December 4, 2024
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Flicker Jelqing

It's the art of Jelqing but instead of pulling you flicker it around making it more efficient at the job and improving the size and experience of the Jelq.
AAGGHHHH FLICKER JELQING IS SO MUCH BETTER THEN JELQING

I JUST FLICKER JELQED ON THE TEACHER OMG!!!
by JelqMaster3001 December 4, 2024
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Croatian flicker gooning

Croatian flicker gooning is a sexual act consisting of using a cheap vibrating buttplug which will periodically zap your prostate due to its poor quality and its controlled by Nikola Tesla's spirit who is summoned via an ouija board in a forest near Smiljan (the place Nikola Tesla was born in) while you goon while chanting the words "Nikola, bless me, and I shall bless your birthplace with my seed".
"Dude, I heard you are visiting Smiljan in a month. Is that true?" "Yeah, im going there mostly to try Croatian flicker gooning!"
by YVLdoja December 4, 2024
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North Korean Flicker Gooning

A variation of the flicker gooning technique created by the North Korean military. It is a refined version of Aztec flicker gooning that also gives the user an undescribable calm. The technique is performed by flicking the edge of your penis with a ball point pen, which is why some North Koreans have been seen to have scars and pen markings on the tips of their penis. If performed correctly North Korean Flicker Gooning will cause the user to bust within 0.6 seconds, and the semen travels at around 39,000 miles per hour.

The North Korean military has supported and funded research on this technique, as they plan to have it replace their ICBMs by 2030. However due to having a natural proclivity towards the technique it might be implemented into the military as soon as 2026.

The CIA have been hiring cute ripped twinks and have been giving them BBL surgeries so they can hop on Jerk Mate and learn the technique from the North Koreans. Since the mission is classified it is unknown if the has been working or not.
Man this class is boring I'm gonna watch Lebron edits on my computer and learn North Korean Flicker Gooning.
by TacoThursdayOnATuesday December 6, 2024
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Dacian Flicker Gooning

One of these celebrations, known as the "Dance of the Flickers," was a deeply spiritual and wildly energetic event. The Dacians believed that the flickering movements of their dicks could harness the energy of the earth and connect them with the mystical forces that governed their world. The dance was filled with exaggerated arm and the third leg movements, wild facial expressions, and frenetic energy, much like what we would now recognize as modern "gooning." It was meant to unlock the wild power within each person and release the energy of the earth. As time passed and the Dacian kingdom fell to the Romans, these practices slowly faded into history, lost in the shadows of the past. But the energy and spirit of the "Flicker Gooning" never truly disappeared—it lingered in the folklore and stories passed down through the generations, remembered only by those who truly listened.
I will summon the gods with the Dacian Flicker Gooning
by SaviAllDogs2 December 8, 2024
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