Tiny Johnson

A small penis

I think that guy's poor attitude is linked to having a tiny Johnson

by DutchRub September 27, 2025

Muddy Johnson

When you get shit-dicked with pungent diarrhea. The kind that stings the nose and causes the eyes to water.

"I was on a Tinder date the other day and it went horrible. We had lunch at Taco Bell and she ended up giving me a Muddy Johnson later that night."

by Fructussy October 17, 2025

Paul Johnson

A guy that you meet and think the world of. Later find out he thinks he all that and all woman want him. He is loving, romantic with a big package but has a big head about it.

Hey I was with a Paul Johnson last night and he rocked my world.

by Shortyskull October 21, 2025

First Spin Johnson

FIRST SPIN JOHNSON

(noun / verb — peak internet slang)

Definition:
When someone absolutely cooks on their very first try, pulling off a win so stupidly lucky that everyone around them questions reality. A First Spin Johnson is the kind of beginner’s luck that feels like cheating — zero skill, zero experience, maximum disrespect to everyone who actually tries.

Vibe Check:
✨ First attempt
💥 Instant W
🤡 Victim of success (thinks they’re him now)

• “He full ported his Solana into his first meme coin and caught a ripper. First Spin Johnson behavior.”
• “First spin on the slot and you smack the bonus. Certified First Spin Johnson moment.”
• “Buddy tried sports betting for the first time and hit a 7-leg parlay like it was scripted. Absolute First Spin Johnson chaos.”

by First Spin Johnson December 1, 2025

Major Johnson

A boner. A fat. A chubby. A hard on. The erect penis of the human male

Ben has a major johnson for ayla

by Fat man little boy December 4, 2025

Brick Johnson

When it’s cold outside it’s “Brick”.. but when it’s absolutely freezing out it’s Brick Johnson.

Mike - Yo bro how’s the weather today ?

Mikes friend - Not going to lie bro it’s brick johnson right now.

by MStock December 7, 2025

Dwayne “The Sock” Johnson

A few weeks ago, I, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, was accidentally reducing my trailer van into mere atoms with a tree branch. In panic, I, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, was blaming the act on my cat because I, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, an individual individually pursuing the individual goal of individually assisting individuals in achieving individuality named Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, was wishing to avoid hurting my reputation. Soon, my cat was in jail and being investigated by the CIA. I, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, was concerned for my cat and wondering if he (named Michael) would be alright, because, as it turns out, my cat Michael is a rare type of cat that is actually a human. Michael’s last name is Scott. Yes, I, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, was owning the man from popular comedy show “The Office”, as the show was deeply tied to my childhood (specifically the part of my childhood where I, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, had yet to be born) on a superficial level. I, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, was relatively certain that my cat was going to be deported to a third-world Central American country and was being imprisoned there, perhaps being forced to do labor (unpaid). I, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, was worried about losing my unpaid laborer to different unpaid labor, and I, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, was panicking and fearful for my cat’s safety.

I, Dwayne “The Sock” Johnson, am going to hit you with my tree branch. You’re welcome!

by Bob B. Bobberton December 10, 2025