Mattress hockey

An imaginary activity touted by a bald 40-something year old to have made his melon void of hair.

Dude, "mattress hockey" lead to the loss of my hair though.

by cusefan001 February 21, 2013

Missouri Mattress

The act of lending your mattress to a friend once you have refused to let them sleep in your room.

Boy: Hey I need to borrow your room tonight...
Girl: No way! #blessed
Boy: Don't CB, she could be the one. What about Missouri compromise?
Girl: I guess we can do Missouri mattress. Thank you!

by Missouri Mattress March 1, 2015

Ballsack Mattress

A ballsack so large and loose that you could rest any number of body parts on it.

That shorty rode the dick bicycle the her meat flaps took a nap on the Ballsack Mattress.

Rob: I'm so Tired I could sleep on the Ballsack Mattress.
Tom: dude, that's gay
Rob: so what. It's comfortable as hell.

by fredman6654 September 8, 2016

mattress music

Music that people listen to while having sex.

This Chris Brown album is good but it's mostly mattress music.

by BobbyHerf March 28, 2016

sweaty mattress

Another word for Pad (product girls use on their periods

omg she was so scared to use a tampon so she only used sweaty mattresses

omg she smelt like she hasn't changed her sweaty mattress

by meg1235 March 27, 2019

Squat Mattress

A man or woman who has no standard and has had sexual intercourse with most of the squatters in their community

Jillwyn is such a squat mattress, I heard she slept with all the guys at every squat just to have a man to keep her safe, so just like a actual squat mattress everyone got their turn, u don't want her scabies

by tampon420 May 17, 2016

mattress baby

when you’ve been slept on your whole entire life and you’re at the point of being used to it...

“i’m a mattress baby, been slept on since i was a jit”

by broady2x December 9, 2020