Jake Piper's second law

Jake Piper's second law requires a bit of thinking.

Infinitely accurate time.

So time could be e^3 days, etc.

Perry: "Yo, what's the time right now?"
James: "Oh, five Pi seconds past 12."
Perry: "Wait, that's way too accurate, right?"
James: "Come on man, use Jake Piper's second law"

by unitybacon October 13, 2020

southern second

longer than a normal second, but shorter than southern minute.

I can whip up breakfast for us in just a southern second.

by Aqua Inferno September 26, 2017

60 second rule

The amount of time it takes a guy after seeing his girls nudes, to become all the way 100% down for her

Joes experiencing the 60 second rule right now if you know what I mean.

by B0bb0 October 23, 2017

30-Second Brownie

An unexpected shit in your pant.

Oh shit, man. I just made a 30-second brownie.

by funkychunkymoney June 7, 2017

second opawnion

The destructive/oppressive practice of --- when wrongfully refusing a perfectly-reasonable request from someone of less physical/emotional/intellectual/financial means than you possess --- consulting someone else whom you know will be a "yes man" to anything you say (i.e., "pawn") for a confirming/bolstering agreement, thereby invalidly giving the unfortunate favor/easement-requester the false idea that "everyone else feels the same as I do", and thus that he himself must be the one who's being selfish/wimpy/unreasonable to expect something like that, even though both you and your "confederate" know fully well that **you yourself** are the one who's in the wrong by your heartless refusal to allow for the asker's less-than-optimum capabilities.

Asking for a second opawnion is actually a form of gaslighting, since it can cause the unfortunate mercy-seeker to doubt his own sanity in his actually-totally-valid belief that whatever he is requesting is logical/necessary. By your strongly expressing your lying assertion that his request is unreasonable/preposterous --- and yet he himself can see no problem with whatever he is asking for, since he honestly feels the genuine and overwhelming need to have said easement granted him due to his own infirmities/incapabilities --- you may very likely cause him to invalidly think that he does not even know his own needs/self/body properly, which can lead to a permanent damage to his basic perception of reality and self-worth.

by QuacksO December 5, 2017

Google second

The time Google takes to find 3 million items or articles to make your point.

Vaccines cause autism and cancer, like five people said it.

Did take a Google second to prove that?

by Laverna's profit February 28, 2018

30 second microwave job

A blowjob so good it’s completed in 30 seconds.... or it can make ice cream melt. In a microwave for 30seconds

That boy just got a 30 second microwave job

by Rodeogirl777 March 1, 2018