Spider Giraffe

A man who is one in a million infinities.

He is kind, empathetic, loving, gentle, intelligent, witty, funny, silly, sexy and an absolute joy to be around.

He allows you to be yourself, have your experiences and all your feelings. He accepts you for who you are and is your safe space.

He makes you laugh and gives you TMJ (from all the smiling).

And he has the longest spider legs in the universe and is as tall as a giraffe (metaphorically).

He is the man all the women want to be with but can’t (not just because his girlfriend is crazy and would obliterate them).

My sexy spider giraffe can we have Gn?

by The universe_actually August 13, 2025

The Spider Gang Effect

Releasing some of the best music of all time, and immediately after dropping the biggest piece of horseshit music you’ve ever heard.

Wow, Lil Darkie’s new album “USD” is fucking horrible! Yet another example of The Spider Gang Effect

by toejam08 August 17, 2025

Spider monkey position

when you have your woman grip the doorframe with her fingers and toes while you hand from a pull up bar located above said door. Then wrap your keys around her waist and proceed to thrust

We tried so new stuff bro. She was begging for the spider monkey position

by Bodybaby August 21, 2025

Kiwi Spider-Man

The act of ejaculating into your right hand and then proceeding to do the Mana wave while saying the phrase ‘Kia Ora’.”

“Please don’t Kiwi Spider-Man me again.”

“Yuck that bloke just Kiwi Spider-Manned me in the face.”

“I’m going to Kiwi Spider-Man this chick later.”

by Red Raw October 5, 2025

Spider Man

When you blow a nut in your hand and then whipping your hand out a window on some ones car.

(best to do at the top of an apartment building)

I was having sex and didn't want to blow a nut in her so I Spider man it.

by Bubba C. October 14, 2025

Spider wank

Get down on all 4’s and give yourself a reach around.

I gave myself a spider wank last night and it was the ultimate ball busting experience

by Welldonetoast November 25, 2025

Spider-Man

You take two long pieces of rope or a belt, wrap them around your partner(s) waist. Then you have the two ropes connected on each side of their hip coming back like a sled. Like Santa’s sleigh. Then, you grab the rope on each side and put your hips back and as you rip them towards you by the ropes, you’re standing 5 to 10 feet away. Thrust your hips forward. High risk, high reward. You insert in? Both of you nut immediately. Miss? pain or your dick is broken.

Man, I gave that girl the MEANEST Spider-Man last night.

by Slamjammaamram December 15, 2025