impossible things

fucking dumb book had to do this for home work

"hey we are are gonna read impossible things!"

by L Bozo + Ratio + Gay + Weird February 16, 2023

Cage thing

See? What'd I tell you? It's a 2 parter and a barn burner... There might even be a 3rd part. OoOoOoOoOoOoOo!

*The next day*

Lucifer "Look, I know what I said but this cage thing is getting out of hand..."

God "I don't see what you mean... but we're gonna go name some stuff now."

Adam "Bye Snake!"😁

Lucifer "RGH! I AM NOT... A snake... They're gone..." 😮 💨

Eve 😐

Lucifer 😒

*A few minutes later*
*Underneath a tree*
Lucifer "..... And don't even get me started on the orbs! 'No LuCi! ThE pYrAmIdS jUsT gRoW oN tHe OrBs SoMeTiMeS!' It's stupid! He's stupid! I swear he just does it to irritate me..." 😒

Eve "I don't really understand but... I enjoy the time we spend together." 😊

Lucifer 😳 "Um... Well... Tsk! 😒 No... No, you wouldn't understand, would you?" *grabs fruit*

Eve 😯 "We're not supposed to eat that."

Lucifer "No. YOU'RE 😈👉😣 not supposed to eat it. I already have the thing the fruit gives you so, to me, it's just fruit." *takes bite*

Eve "Oh..." 😕

Lucifer "On second thought... Here. Have a bite."

Eve "But... What will happen?"

Lucifer "Well... How do I put this? God and I are one way... And you and Adam aren't like us... You're... Different. Eating the fruit will... Make you more like us."

Eve "I don't know..."

Lucifer "Trust me. You'll understand after you take a bite."
🫴 🍏
Eve 😕 "......." *takes bite* 😯😲🫨😨😰

Lucifer "Ah, yeah. See? There's an ethical-"

Eve "I HAVE TO TELL ADAM!" *runs off*

Lucifer "No don't!" 🫳 "......" 😧 "Aw..... Well, shit.... Oops..." 🤷

by Hym Iam February 18, 2023

The thing that decides what happens to you when you die

It canonically comes here when it feels like it, it only forgives you once, and you can't tell that it's him... And not ME Hym bit HIM him.... And not "Hyman" either... That fucking jackass...

Hym "Real cute but try not to do that to the thing that decides what happens to you when you die... Because you will die and blackness forever is going to be the best case scenario for some of you..."

by Hym Iam February 23, 2023

This cage thing

Cacacacacacacage!

Lucifer "Yeah, I don't see what the big deal is... This place is pretty dope... But you see what I mean about the ethical-"

Michael "We're here." 😇 *Knock knock knock*

Abraham *Clears throat* "Hello?"

Michael "Hello 😇👋 Can I speak to you for a moment about our lord and savior-"

Lucifer "Holy shit! He IS old! Look at how OLD he is! Son of a bitch! Do I not have a firm grasp of time!?"

Abraham 👳 ♂️ "What's this all about?"

Lucifer "Anywho... Open up. Out of the way!"

*Michael and Lucifer walk in the house*

Michael "We have a message from-"

Lucifer "Pack your shit! Let's go! Get a move on! God is destroying this place and everyone in it- Oh! Well hello there... And who might you be?" 😍

Abraham "That's my daughter-wife."

Lucifer 😨 "Ugh! Ew!" *Looks over at Michael* "Why are we sparing this guy again?" 🤨

Michael "You have 24 hours to leave this place before God carries out his plan."

Abraham 😱 "WHAT!? Surely there must be another way!"

Michael "Hold on a moment..." ☝️😇 ".... God says that if you can find 10 righteous people he will spare the city."

Abraham "Oh! Thank you! Thank you lo-"

*Bang! Bang! Bang!*

Mob Guy 1 "Abrahaaaam! Oh, Abrahaaaam!"

Mob Guy 2 "We saw you made some new friends Abraham..."

Mob Guy 1 "We likes em... And we wants em... Now... We can do this the easy way... Or we can do it the hard way..."

Abraham 😰

Michael 😇

Lucifer 👿 "Excuse me a moment..." *Gets up and walks outside*

Mob Guy 1 "Well hello there beautiful-"

Lucifer "RAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!"

💥🔥💥🔥💥🔥👹🔥💥🔥💥🔥💥

Mob Guy 1 "AAAAAAH!!! YYAAAARRGGH!!!"

Mob Guy 2 "MY EYES!!!! IT BURNS!!"

Lucifer "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! GOOD LUCK ESCAPING THE FIRE WITH OUT ANY EYES!!!! AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!"

Abraham 😖

Micahel 😇

Lucifer *Walks inside* "I think I'm finally starting to see the appeal of this cage thing." 😁
Abraham 😰

Lucifer "Welp... I think we're done here... Let's go Michael... 10 people Abraham. 24 hours."

Michael "Okie dokie. Buhbye." 👋😇

*Lucifer and Michael walk off*

Abraham 😮 💨

by Hym Iam February 24, 2023

One thing led to another

While this is a sexual innuendo, it is often a misunderstood phrase by the naive and used as general cause and efffect.

The pastor suggested two people go out for prayer but when she used the phrase, “one thing led to another” the parties misunderstood and ended up taking things further then intended.

by pmahc1mik October 11, 2023

one thing

One thing I don't know why It doesn't even matter how hard you try Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme To explain in due time All I know Time is a valuable thing Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings Watch it count down to the end of the day The clock ticks life away It's so unreal Didn't look out below Watch the time go right out the window Tryin' to hold on, did-didn't even know I wasted it all just to watch you go I kept everything inside and even though I tried It all fell apart What it meant to me will eventually Be a memory of a time when I tried so hard I tried so hard and got so far But in the end it doesn't even matter I had to fall to lose it all But in the end it doesn't even matter

one thing
✅✅✅✅✅
✅👁✅👁✅
✅✅👄✅✅
✅✅✅✅✅
❕✅✅✅
❕✅✅✅
❕✅✅✅
❕✅✅✅
✅✅❕✅✅
✅✅❕✅✅

by jelito October 14, 2023

Ambiguous Thing

Someone who snuck onto the earth and because of that research needs to be done on the thing immediately. the thing is not special whatsoever

"have you seen that girl over there."
"Yes! What an ambiguous thing"

by speicalzzzzz October 23, 2023