Walked with Jesus

The most hilarious and light-hearted euphemism to indicate that your shit, has indeed, been jacked.

Friend: "Hey dude, where's your TV?"
You: "Well, you see, it walked with Jesus."

by Sagely One July 7, 2009

Jesus Brick

If someone says something stupid or does something ridiculously awful, Jesus throws a brick at you with a note tied to it "from: Jesus"
The brick can fly around until it has stricken down its target. This phrase is ok to use if you don't believe in Jesus.

Girl - "Look, reindeer!!!!"
Boy - "Jesus brick! Those are cows!"

by REALITY, bitch January 8, 2009

jesus christ

God, also the son in flesh

Jesus Christ is god, nuff said

by SoBsubsidiary> August 24, 2022

Jimmy Jesus

A bearded tramp. 'Jimmy' cos that's usually their name and 'Jesus' cos of the resemblance in the facial hair department.

I was out today and I saw a Jimmy Jesus raking through the bins in the park.

by Mummy Shaz July 18, 2005

Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ is a fictional character.
Associated with The Bibles(A Fictional Storybook) and Christianity.

Good morning kid, today we'll be learning about what Jesus Christ taught us in our life.

by Doomester December 26, 2018

dinosaur jesus

Neo had many previous versions of himself;many "ones." So did Jesus. One of them was a dinosaur. Probably.

Sweet dinosaur Jesus

by hoifer June 16, 2003

Jesus crisis

A derogatory comment about a christian who is struggling to reconcile their faith with the science.

In the face of actual proof of evolution Jimmy was having a severe Jesus Crisis. Good thing his faith doesn't require any real proof.

by JRLewis September 25, 2011