Cotton Swab

An old person. From the fact that your hair turns white as you age.

"That cotton swab almost merged into my car!"

by ZORG April 5, 2015

Cunt-Swab

An insult. Referring to an annoying person or "asshole". Usually a person who frequently takes place in acts of incest.

You know Issac? I heard he had sex with his sister.. What a cunt-swab

by Whiffles November 14, 2016

knob swab

A gay man giving oral sex

Steven Colbert's band is full of knob swabbers

by Rosieola2013 October 30, 2015

Swab

an annoying piece of shit
a fucking loser

Please can someone send the homework. Shut the fuck up you swab.

by Spaxems January 30, 2020

snot swab

Slang for nasopharyngeal swabs used to test people for COVID 19. So named because the Nurse or Doctor (usually Nurse) doing the test inserts a long handled swab into the subject's nose and into one of their sinus cavities. The sinuses produce snot, and COVID 19 lives in the sinuses.

As a healthcare worker, I have to go for COVID 19 testing every 2 weeks at work. It doesn't hurt that much if the Nurse doing the test uses a gentle touch (it's no more painful than having chlorinated pool water enter your nostrils). At my last COVID test, I joked with my Nurse friend inserting the swab, "Time for a snot swab"

by chrisssy226 November 20, 2020

Swab

A person with parental tendencies who does weird shit to mice. Swabs can often be seen talking about their 3 loves: keyboards, Quesadillas, and sedating small animals, especially mice.

A: "Yo dude I just got some pet mice"
B: "Better keep them out of Jeremy's hands he's a total Swab"

by QuestionableOtter July 5, 2020

Swab Job

Receiving oral while cleaning your ears in a pleasurable fashion with a Q tip or cotton swab. Also known as an “SJ” or the good ol Gerstenzang. In honor of Leo Gerstenzang, the inventor of the Q tip.

I was cleaning my ears the other night, when the wife surprised me with a Swab Job.

by Edward2yourMother February 26, 2018