jake pfeiffer

to have your testicles in a jar and in the possession of a female who requires you to check-in constantly to verify she still has possession. Guys night out is OUT of the question

You are being a jake pfeiffer not taking me to the movies

by only god knows why July 31, 2016

Jakeing Off

The act of talking to your porno.

Jake- "Oh yeah, baby, what are you doing now!"

Patrick- "Jake, are you talking to the computer"

Jacob- "he's jakeing off"

by Gayqui June 11, 2006

Jake Vaughn

Big dick mother fucker. And you know it because you just read it fool. Now bow your heads and pay your respects.

Jake Vaughn is a man with a sweet sweet beard.

by Beard King January 3, 2014

Jake Story

An extremely boring and long winded story without any clear meaning or end. The end of the story will leave the listener slightly angry they were forced to listen to such a moronic pointless story. The word 'Jake Story' can also be used as an insult for someone who told a shitty story. The word was coined by a mother who realized all jakes tell terrible stories.

Example 1
Dylan: " So I was playing soccer and then the ball hit my head and it kind of hurt. But it wasn't my fault the sun was in my eyes and..."
Adam: " Wow, cool story Jake"
Example 2
Rob: "So I was walking down the street and this dog just started barking at me. It was crazy you just had to be there"
Matt: " That was such a Jake Story"

by anonymous10111213 March 6, 2014

Jake Paul

The definition of a retarded dipshit

Dickie:'Hey bro i aint givin you the money i owe you'
Jackie:'Dont be such a Jake Paul and give me at least half of the money ya owe me'.

by TotallyNotALongNameWastingTime November 11, 2018

Jake Paul

Another word for the garbage/trash.

Person: Hey can you throw out the jake paul

Another person: ugh fine

by 1800iloveshawnmendesandtøp August 24, 2018

Jake Paul

A devastating mental illness that has infected thousands of young kids, and has no cure. Symptoms include: Dabbing on dem haters, thinking you can rap, ruining neighborhoods in Hollywood, attempting to compete with your brother who is a better blogger, and lastly... being an overall cunt.

Doctor: The results came it....... They are positive, you have Jake Paul
Patient: ITS EVERYDAY BRO!
Doctor to parents: This is the worst case I've seen, we are going to have to put him down.

by MarineOne November 13, 2017