The Catholic Church

Um... Harboring pedophiles?

Hym "Candace Owens cares so much about people harboring pedophiles that she converted to THE CATHOLIC CHURCH! Not because they DON'T HARBOR PEDOPHILES... But to get away from the jews! Because catholicism is the Jewish incest cult except coopted by the Romans and is a step removed from the jews and she only did it after she was fired by a jew for criticizing Israel. Clearly she doesn't understand irony. The irony is lost on her. Also, her husband looks like a gay man. If you told me he went to gay conversion camp when he was younger, I would believe you and wouldn't even ask for evidence. I would just say 'Yup'and nod my head because that is very likely a gay man."

by Hym Iam August 19, 2024

OAP Church Thugs

A gang of elderly women, with big slab heads who bully others so that they are afraid to attend church functions. Intimidation tactics include slander, text messages sent to recipients either too early in the morning or too late at night to cause distress and sometimes outright shouting and shoving matches, always in view of the public in order to assert dominance.

"Margaret Beetson and crew are such OAP Church Thugs. They flat out refused to accept Barbara's cakes for the church bake-off comp.

by Poobody May 6, 2025

Church weed

Weed that doesn’t suck, but doesn’t get you wrecked either. Something you can toke, and then go out in public and not freak out.

A: Are you feeling alright? You’ve been on the same phone screen for like 10 minutes.
B: I’m straight. I’m on that church weed bro.

by Planet12 May 25, 2025

real church

Any church that is homophobic, misogynist, and non-liturgical. Used almost exclusively to contrast conservative Christians from Progressive Christians.

"Your "priest" is a woman? That isn't a real church. "

"Stop being gay/trans and go to a real church, pronouns."

"I go to a real church. We follow The Bible™️."

by SapphicSelene April 5, 2024

Church Moth

someone’s son or daughter who is a satanist who’s forced to go to church on the down low

maggie: oh look patrick is in our church group
stefan: don’t say that maggie patrick is a church moth

by qq.madi November 21, 2021

Church Slider

A fart in church that usually done for the intention of spicing up a rather boring situation.

I did a lil church slider because it was boring AF in there.

by Ornery Individual November 26, 2021

Church Shooting

Wow, yeah, that holy war isn't going great, is it? Looks like the Christians have lost their edge. What's the score now?

Hym "You hear about the church shooting? I didn't get an official score but I'll google it eventually... Wasn't I just saying it's been a minute? There might have been a superbowl parade one too."

by Hym Iam February 16, 2024