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jam handy

1. The popular 1940's Educational Film Production Company, 'Jam Handy', who created such classic films as "A Case of Spring Fever"
2. The even more popular sexual favour, provided by certain prostitutes, whereby the hand job is enhanced by liberal application of various jams, jellies and preserves. At the lower end of the menu is the 'Hartley's Strawberry Jam Handy', which will cost on average £2.50 due to the low fruit content, all the way up to Fortnam and Mason's High Grove Organic Damson Preserve , which will cost a discerning customer at least £10 a Handy. Seville Orange Marmalade Handy's are seasonal.
Most Jam Handys are executed with seedless jam, but there are some fringe extremists that prefer seeded raspeberry Jam Handys, known in the trade as "Dick Raspers".
"Nigel, where does one acquire a Jam Handy in this borough?"
"Why Nigel, I believe one can have a quality Jam Handy down behind the Tesco's if you're in the mood for some Hartley's seedless Raspberry, 35 percent fruit, only £2.50. Bargain."
"Why thank you Nigel, you're a real chap."
"Unless you're one of those filthy Dick Raspers, in which case I'll have to call the local constabulary."
"Oh Nigel, how could you."
"And I always took you for a marmalade man. And I let you watch my children."
by Adrian Potato September 26, 2020
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Jam-mum

A mother or and older woman (35-65) who’s personality is so basic that the most riveting activity they can do is make jam. They enjoy making jam and constantly talk about making jam. Similar to a wine mum but more wholesome (cause they’re quite nice) and wine is replaced with jam-making. They usually have the personality of a cardboard box and are either very Catholic/ toxic Christian or very agnostic. They usually hate the following:

* Controversy

* Movies and songs that swear
* Anything remotely ‘vulgar’
Jane: “Did you hear about Matilda’s party on Saturday?”
Alex: “Yeah.”
Jane:…”Ok? Are you going?”
Alex: “HA! NO! That woman’s party is probably the equivalent to the taste of sandpaper. She’s such jam-mum.”
by Fourfortunate4 July 5, 2022
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Ass Jam

When your underwear gets all bunched up in your ass on a hot day.
Man, I’ve got some serious ass jam going on today
by Lil DaveyPete January 17, 2022
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Smurf jam

When a midget creams
Yo bro I just bucked a midget and her shit was Smurf jamming 👻”
by anonymous April 20, 2022
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Rope Jam

An opportunity for practitioners of kinbaku/shibari/rope bondage/rope work to gather and learn how to tie and be tied in a friendly, collegial environment. Rope jams are not play/sex parties but rather focus on the technical aspects of bondage.
I learnt to tie a single column tie at the last rope jam.
by stroodiboodi June 16, 2021
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Bread and jam

Smelly,unkept trampy sort of person
Smells like bread and jam
by Bread and jam May 16, 2021
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fender jam

In winter, that brown and off-white amalgam of snow, ice, salt, sand, and other assorted debris that collects in the wheel wells and/or under the fenders of any vehicle that is so equipped. See also toe jam.
Before leaving, warm up the car and clean out the fender jam.
by Hendy June 25, 2004
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