Whiskey Tortoise

Flaccid, impotent male genitals that result from consuming too much alcohol (esp. whiskey or bourbon).

"He got so drunk and later, in bed, he had a total whiskey tortoise. I lied and told him that it was fine and that all that mattered was being close to him."

by Tortoisemaster August 26, 2013

Full tortoise

Taking all the pain and punishment and enjoying it all

Mate she is harsh, he must be going full tortoise

by Vlad bad March 14, 2023

Inverted tortoise

Where you align your anal cavities and fart into each others ass holes simultaneously

Hey Jeremy, Want to run an inverted tortoise later?

by Robertbuttsworthy March 20, 2023

Tortoiseitis

Slower than fuck. A very slow person.

It takes that bitch forever to put her makeup on she has tortoiseitis.

by Mike Hawksbigger January 31, 2023

Touching The Tortoise

Masturbation of the male genitals

Touching the tortoise- masturbation

My girlfriend sent nudes, I’m going to touch my tortoise to them

by WillyMaster1001 November 4, 2023

Tortoise

A name given to the species usopp

"My new pet usopp (a tortoise)"

by WildWillez December 13, 2020

Tortoise

THE MOST BADASS ANIMAL ON THE PLANET. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS A LIVING TANK.

"Damn do you see that guy over there who owns a tortoise?"
"Fucking badass"

by LiverGiver February 11, 2021