Jade Turtle

A Jade Turtle is special sex act performed on a man provided at an Asian massage parlor. The masseuse, dripping a small amount of oil onto the mans flaccid penis, gently squeezes the foreskin over the head, pinching it loosely with thumb and forefinger. The opposite hand then tickles the balls or nipples until the penis becomes erect, pushing and poking out of the foreskin like a curious turtles head.

'Man, I stopped at this Asian Massage parlor last week, and before I got my happy ending, the masseuse gave me a Jade Turtle!"

by Dr Knob September 24, 2010

Turtle Whore

Women who tease excesivly but are slower than old people fucking to give out.

Katie is such a Turtle Whore

by Rawr Cookie February 15, 2006

turtle butter

a condition for males in which their balls become very sweaty

after a long hot day i realized i had a bad case of turtle butter

by GingerKing1 June 2, 2011

turtle slap

Turtle Slap is when someone slaps your turtle, so you have to retaliate with a slap that only a turtle would wish for.

If you slap my turtle again, I'm going to TURTLE SLAP you!
If you touch my turtle's shell again with your palm, I'm going to TURTLE SLAP your ugly face.

by Joshilini June 29, 2007

sea turtle

a really ugly girl that isnt quite as ugly as a swamp donkey, but damm she is dank!!

man check out that sea turtle!
im gonna get really drunk tonight and hit that sea turtle up!!

by steven tyler konken May 4, 2008

Turtle Spread

The sweat that accumulates in ones butt crack after long periods of time in a hot place. See also "swas"

its so hot in here, i have a plethora of turlte spread.

by Scrumtrilescentness July 2, 2005

Turtle helmet

When the end of a poo hangs out your sphincter ("turtle heading" or "touching cloth") for so long that it turns hard and crusty.

I've been touching cloth so long I've got turtle helmet.

by The Bishop Amen August 6, 2008