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Split-it

split-it
verb (colloquial, euphemistic; vulgar-slang, chiefly British)

Definition:
To luxuriate in a moment of solitary pleasure; typically involving a freshly made bed, an artisanal coffee, a feline companion of discerning temperament, and the climactic indulgence of self-intimacy. The phrase draws whimsical reference from the anatomical act of splitting it, a metaphorical nod to the bifurcation of the labia during said solitary encounter.

Etymology:
Modern British slang. A playful conflation of genteel self-care and unabashed self-love. Said to have originated from the ritualistic ‘breaking-in’ of one’s own bed with all the essentials : cat, caffeine, and climax.

See also:
me-time, clitoral cottagecore, flatwarming
First night in the new flat. Cat’s curled up, coffee’s still hot. Time to light a candle, pop on some Kate Bush, and split-it.”
by Angry Leo May 28, 2025
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Split the baby

It is crazy that you will deny yourself justice just to prevent me from getting it.
Hym "Really. You trying to split the baby on literally every issue is crazy. Cite the lesbian who pretended to be a man."
by Hym Iam June 4, 2025
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The Underwater Splits

when you are forced to watch someone doing the under water splits over and over again until you almost drown
I'm not going to Johnny's house again. I can't watch any more of The Underwater Splits.
by Lorraine Haul May 21, 2024
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Splitting an Egg

When you’re so obsessed about splitting costs equally that you would even insist on getting half of an egg.
Person 1: You owe me 20p from that coffee the other day
Person 2: Mate. You’re splitting an egg right now.
by EggSplitter2007 November 27, 2021
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Dragon Splitting

A slur made up by western imperialists made to supress Asians in Hypixel Skyblock.
I fucking hate Dragon Splitting because I am Asian and Hypixel with bad server will always lag me back.
by TheA0o4o2 March 20, 2024
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split screen lurker

A split screen video where you watch a person (split screen lurker) watching a viral video. .

Sometimes making comments, or just watching.
: Where’s the original viral video? I wanna see it without the split screen lurker in the way., it’s never funny.

: I know, right. . Overlays are way funnier.
by Keith02k March 20, 2024
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Split Bongo

When you spread your ass cheeks apart and someone slaps you directly in the butthole
Josh: Hey Cass, I want you to give me a split bongo.

Cass: I’m gonna slap your bongo so hard you’ll burp
by Elevatedsack March 27, 2024
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