Jesus crap

What comes out when you try to say "Jesus Christ" and "holy crap" at the same time. Will generally come across as either humorous or bizarre to any listeners, unless they are devoutly Christian, in which case they may likely be offended.

Did you hear? The gas station down the road exploded!
Jesus crap!
...What?

by Screennameless January 31, 2009

Griefer Jesus

Noun

A satirical version of the Christian god in Grand Theft Auto V wielding a railgun, operating a flying bike, or driving the player's vehicle. He is summoned at random or by choice in GTA V chaos mode with the intent of disrupting or "griefing" the player. Popularised by the streamer "DarkViperAu".

Etymology: Griefer (A player that intentionally ruins the game of others) + Jesus (the name of the Christian god)

The viewers on twitch summoned Griefer Jesus to troll on Matto.

by Rektz April 30, 2022

Jesus bot

A type of internet troll who comes onto sites posting radical Christian messages and prayers. Flames users who disagree.

"Harry Potter is sinful witchcraft! It should be kept away from our children."

Guy 1: Man, I was online when some guy told me I was going to hell for watching Family Guy.
Guy 2: Uh-oh, sounds like a Jesus bot.

by Selo April 4, 2010

rolling jesus

a hand rolled cigarette.

-dude, can i have a rolling jesus?

-shure, just let me find my tobacco first...

by laberge October 21, 2009

Jesus-to-Fetus

A common cuddling position where the man, usually, is laying flat on his back with his arms outspread, reminiscent of Jesus' position on the cross. The girl, usually, will then be cuddled up against the guy's side, in fetal position. This is a more advanced cuddling position.

They're getting pretty serious. Homeboy's got her Jesus-To-Fetus

by sacuse November 25, 2010

Jesus-walking

Strutting around as if one can walk on water; often triggered by varsity athletic status, rowdy friends, and/or alcohol consumption. Derived as an alternate phrase for jaywalking

Police were worried about the number of accidents caused by Jesus-walking and middle-class commuters on the streets of Boulder, Colorado.

by Ellen Wagner April 11, 2008

Jesus Beard

The path of soft snow that has been freshly groomed on a ski/snowboard hill. It is so smooth it feels exactly like what Jesus' beard would feel like if it were a mountain.

Sam: What hill should we go down next?
Blake: Let's go down Four Pipe, I just saw a new patch of Jesus Beard.

by TheSwineFlew December 27, 2011