Yopmail User's definitions
A day for naughty kids to arm themselves with Nerf guns, marking their futile declaration of war against Santa and the North Pole. Always occurs on December 26th.
Declare War on the North Pole Day 2022
Naughty kid 1: I-I-I saw it in F-Fortnite! I-if we enter through the front door we will kill the elves and s-s-seize the means of production!
Rest of the naughty kids: H-HEIL... C-C-COMMUNISM!! PRAISE STALIN AND FORTNITE!!
Santa Claus: *exits workshop* The fuck is this shit?
Naughty kids: FORTNITE BATTLE PASS PLZZZZ!!! FOLLOW MY TIKTO-
*Santa guns them all down with an AR-15*
Naughty kid 1: I-I-I saw it in F-Fortnite! I-if we enter through the front door we will kill the elves and s-s-seize the means of production!
Rest of the naughty kids: H-HEIL... C-C-COMMUNISM!! PRAISE STALIN AND FORTNITE!!
Santa Claus: *exits workshop* The fuck is this shit?
Naughty kids: FORTNITE BATTLE PASS PLZZZZ!!! FOLLOW MY TIKTO-
*Santa guns them all down with an AR-15*
by Yopmail User February 23, 2023
Get the Declare War on the North Pole Day mug.The act of stripping naked, tying one of your ankles to your friend's ankle, and ramming your cocks as hard as possible in the asses of two girls who are very tightly conjoined by a shackle around their torsos, in that order.
by Yopmail User February 24, 2023
Get the H&M mug.To blend any two liquids (Mentos if desired) together and pour the mixture down your girlfriend's vagina and/or on her face. The mixture can be any two liquids, so fuck around with the Diet Coke.
by Yopmail User February 26, 2023
Get the waterfall mug.DEFINITION
There once was a dude from Yopmail
Whose struggle against boredom was a fail
So he hopped on UrbDic(k)
And wrote this limerick
Enjoy the rest, you diseased toenail
There once was a dude from Yopmail
Whose struggle against boredom was a fail
So he hopped on UrbDic(k)
And wrote this limerick
Enjoy the rest, you diseased toenail
A Bunch of Limericks by Yopmail User
RICK
There once was a dick named Rick
Who fucked his nephew's daughters for kicks
His son ate ten dimes
Then fucked tigers twelve times
And proudly sucked a monkey's dick
CHRIS HANSEN
There once was a Brit with a snare
Who raped a few kids for a dare
He then wet his bed
When Chris Hansen said
"Why don't you have a seat over there?"
OBSCENE
There once was a poem so obscene
It made all its readers drink bromine
They thought it was time
To shit on a mime
And fuck his dead body for hygiene
THE SHITTY DECK POEM
There once was a kid on a deck
Who fell over and broke his neck
Someone raped the dude
And was promptly sued
He now qualifies for a penis check
MASTURBATION
A kid once beat off to his dog
Who unwillingly sucked his big log
The dog saw a tick
And bit off the kid's dick
Then took a big shit on a frog
RICK
There once was a dick named Rick
Who fucked his nephew's daughters for kicks
His son ate ten dimes
Then fucked tigers twelve times
And proudly sucked a monkey's dick
CHRIS HANSEN
There once was a Brit with a snare
Who raped a few kids for a dare
He then wet his bed
When Chris Hansen said
"Why don't you have a seat over there?"
OBSCENE
There once was a poem so obscene
It made all its readers drink bromine
They thought it was time
To shit on a mime
And fuck his dead body for hygiene
THE SHITTY DECK POEM
There once was a kid on a deck
Who fell over and broke his neck
Someone raped the dude
And was promptly sued
He now qualifies for a penis check
MASTURBATION
A kid once beat off to his dog
Who unwillingly sucked his big log
The dog saw a tick
And bit off the kid's dick
Then took a big shit on a frog
by Yopmail User January 16, 2023
Get the Limerick mug.The act of placing tracking chips on a small child's ankle and in his eye sockets before forcing him to drink ten gallons of a mixture of your saliva, spit, cum, vomit, snot, piss, and sweat, among other bodily fluids; others can be used if necessary. Once you have that down, ram your cock up his ass (and vagina if female) as hard as possible before skullfucking him in his nostrils and ears. After you finish that, gaze at his naked body while throwing condoms at him for half an hour before tearing off one of his limbs, using it as a fleshlight, and making him take a bite out of it. You will then need to knock him unconscious and rape him repeatedly in most of his bodily crevices. Once the act is done, bring him home as if nothing happened, stalk him extensively, and take pictures of his body while he's sleeping. Get some Diet Coke and Mentos and hold it against the stub where his severed limb used to be.
by Yopmail User November 26, 2023
Get the facebook mug.-This shit happens more than ten years after the fucking prequel.
-Humans invade Pandora.
-The dead guy named Miles Quaritch turns out to be blue and alive.
-Jake's kids get kidnapped and freed (Spider being an exception).
-Jake and his family move to the fucking ocean.
-Lo'ak (Jake's son) fights some dude and almost gets fucking eaten by a predator.
-A tulkun named Payakan saves him (he's ostracized because he fought with the dudes who killed his mother).
-Kiri has a seizure. She lives because muh plot armor.
-Quaritch massacres the fucking tulkuns. Their brains prevent aging.
-Jake and his family get trapped in a sunken vessel (Payakan attacks it and kills the crew earlier).
-Lo'ak, Tsireya (Metkayina princess), and Tuk (Jack's daughter) get captured and live.
-Neteyam (Jake's son) dies. The other kids live.
-Quaritch holds Kiri (Jake's daughter) hostage until Neytiri (Jake's wife) cuts Spider's chest with a knife.
-Spider saves Quaritch and fucking stays on Pandora.
-Jake and his family stay underwater.
-Humans invade Pandora.
-The dead guy named Miles Quaritch turns out to be blue and alive.
-Jake's kids get kidnapped and freed (Spider being an exception).
-Jake and his family move to the fucking ocean.
-Lo'ak (Jake's son) fights some dude and almost gets fucking eaten by a predator.
-A tulkun named Payakan saves him (he's ostracized because he fought with the dudes who killed his mother).
-Kiri has a seizure. She lives because muh plot armor.
-Quaritch massacres the fucking tulkuns. Their brains prevent aging.
-Jake and his family get trapped in a sunken vessel (Payakan attacks it and kills the crew earlier).
-Lo'ak, Tsireya (Metkayina princess), and Tuk (Jack's daughter) get captured and live.
-Neteyam (Jake's son) dies. The other kids live.
-Quaritch holds Kiri (Jake's daughter) hostage until Neytiri (Jake's wife) cuts Spider's chest with a knife.
-Spider saves Quaritch and fucking stays on Pandora.
-Jake and his family stay underwater.
by Yopmail User December 18, 2022
Mentions of donut restaurants are telltale signs that the dude you're talking to is actually an undercover cop who's ready to molest you.
by Yopmail User December 24, 2022
Get the Cop mug.