Two Spoon Destroyer's definitions

Jamaican Wank

When a man (or woman) engages in masturbation whilst using tobasco or some other form of spiced sauce as a lubricant.

"Damn dude, my dicks on fire today"

"Why, what happened?"

"Used to much sauce whilst having a Jamaican Wank this morning!"

by Two Spoon Destroyer August 21, 2020

Cowboy Kiss

This requires two men to be performing the cowboy position on their sexual partners. They also have to be perfectly aligned with each other because when the two men ejaculate simultaneously they kiss, hence Cowboy Kiss.

Joe: WASSSSUPPPPPP!
Chris: Nothing, just chilling out relaxing after a few cowboy kisses with Mateo.
Joe: Dude, you're fucked up....

by Two Spoon Destroyer November 30, 2020

Loopholing

1. (Adjective) Consistently returning to the same destructive behaviour as before with no reason dor doing so.

2. (Verb) For a male, ejaculating inside a woman without using a condom but not getting her pregnant therefore finding a loophole in the biological cycle. Hence loopholing.

Caity: 'I'm really worried about Chris, he's loopholing again and I don't know what do!'

Joe: 'Just tell him to use a condom!'

Caity: 'It's not that.....He's shitting in the sink again!'

by Two Spoon Destroyer December 10, 2020

Ding dong kung-fu

A form of martial arts only seen in the shady parts of Beijing or in triad controlled China town. It is also used as a sport for betting and such like.

Where 2 or more men use their erect penises as weapons in a duel but also doing those crazy kung-fu flips. Women can participate with strap-ons but this provides a distinct advantage due to their artificial nature.

Joe: 'Chris are you ok?'

Chris: 'No mate, absolutely exhausted. My penis is black and blue from all that Ding dong kung-fu!'

by Two Spoon Destroyer December 23, 2020

Father Joe

Verb - During intercourse, in a reverse superman position, the female massages the males perineum until he simultaneously ejaculates and defecates. Whilst the bodily excretions are in process, the female screams 'oh father Joe, how you treat me'. She then also defecates and the two roll around wrestle in the sperm/poo mixture.

Note, this only works with males named Joe.

Lady: I'm exhausted

Friend: Why?

Lady: Just finished a father Joe with a guy!

Friend: Probably why you stink of shit then

by Two Spoon Destroyer November 9, 2020

Blitzkrieging

Verb: when you fuck your partner for exactly 2 minutes and 12 seconds at 177 beats per minute, the only exclamations allowed other than hey oh let's go must be in German (polish for the receptive partner).

Chris was exhausted from blitzkrieging all night!

by Two Spoon Destroyer November 15, 2020

Ring Burn

What happens 2 days after drinking your friends homemade chilli pickle juice. On the day of the drinking a chilli seed gets stuck in the throat and gives you painful chilli sneezes. Day 2 the remnants of chilli juice and seeds are passed through the anus. It burns as if Mr T had just penetrated you anally with Tabasco sauce on his dick. After this you then have to deal with the most unholy and ungodly of smells which will take a full day of fumigation to erase.

Joe had a lot of ring burn after drinking Chris and Caitys homemade chilli pickle juice. He used a full bottle of cologne in the bathroom!

by Two Spoon Destroyer November 18, 2020