Spanks Johnson's definitions

eWhore

A woman whom your buddy meets from an online dating service, who you do not like.

So, you're blowing off your friends to go out with that eWhore again, huh?

by Spanks Johnson July 8, 2006

sodomint

A small spearmint candy inserted into the rectum prior to a rim job... Insures freshness.

After I administered the sodomint, his farts were minty fresh.

by Spanks Johnson July 8, 2006

galosh

A latex device to keep you from a) getting that greasy skank pregnant b) getting crotch crickets from the greasy skank.

Just before I stuck my stanky hang down in the greasy skank, I put on a galosh.

by Spanks Johnson July 8, 2006

Oxy-moron

See "Billy Mays" of TV's Oxyclean fame.

Oh, and what's with that beard?

KABOOM! Billy Mays is a Oxy-moron!

by Spanks Johnson October 25, 2006

Cheesy Scrod

A woman who is no longer, or never was, desireable. Usually used to describe your friends ex. Derived from a Florida restuarant sign advertising the special of the day "Cheesy Scrod $10.99".

"Man, that bitch you were with was such a cheesy scrod."

by Spanks Johnson October 2, 2005

Lirpa Sloof

Whereas the defecation is unartistically left in a lump as in a Cleveland Steamer. With the Lirpa Sloof variation, the deposit is made unto a ring shape. The Lirpa Sloof variation shows the recipient that you have class and muscle control.

Sarah, calling out to her roomate says "Hey, come see this Lirpa Sloof on my chest, that random guy I slept with last night really was classy!"

"Yeah, and the it's a perfect circle too, he sure has great muscle control!"

"Yeah", Sarah sighs, "I think I'm in love."

by Spanks Johnson April 3, 2008

Quadrasexual

A quadrasexual is somebody who will do anything, with anyone, for a 25 cents.

You'll never become wealthy as a quadrasexual. "Wanna bet" was Skip's response as he was handed 50 cents from two clients he had recently simultaneously fellated.

by Spanks Johnson April 21, 2020