LayItonYou's definitions

A beaver attempt

A burning in the eyes, nose or throat when beginning to go south of the border on a lady.

How did your date go?
ANSWER: I almost had to call hazmat on a beaver attempt!

by LayItOnYou March 18, 2007

Paranoid

The perpetual motion act of not knowing what the hell is going on around you and thinking that you do. Usually resulting in flushing of a perfectly good stash down the toilet to awaiting fish, and then getting busted the day you decide not too!

Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean that they are not after you.

by LayItOnYou March 18, 2007

Paranoid

The perpetual motion act of not knowing what the hell is going on around you and thinking that you do. Usually resulting in flushing of a perfectly good stash down the toilet to awaiting fish, and then getting busted the day you decide not too!

Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean that they are not after you.

by LayItOnYou March 19, 2007

nail clipper

The unfortunate act of really fucking up bad without the ability to fix an error. Almost always involving an authority figure or close relationship! You are in a "nail clipper" when you have to cut your fingernails so you won't scratch your ankles while you take it in the bum for being stupid. Worse than being "fucked"!

Damn! When my boss finds out, it's going to be a nail clipper!

I am FUCKED! I just did a nail clipper!

When a really rich man gives his wife herpes after 12 years of wedlock. He's gonna get a nail clipper!

by LayItOnYou March 20, 2007

animal abuser

A sad condition that occurs after pissing off your wife or girlfriend really bad! Case studies show men are most likely to commit animal abuse soon after the "you're cut off" time begins. Effects seems to be acutely focused. Men routinely catagorize themselves in several specific groups. These men are engaging in acts of Spanking The Monkey, Choking The Chicken, Whacking The Weasel, Flogging the Dolphin, and new recent reports demonstrate cross species abuse. Some have now begun to Beat One Eyed Willy, until he finally gets mad and spits on them.

(caller to friend) Dude! I forgot our anniversary ... ... ... again! Third time! What am I going to do?
(friend) ... ... ... ... um, ... ... ... um, ... ...
(caller to friend) Do you have a chicken, or any Sea Monkeys?
(friend) -long pause- Um, Willy want's to know if your OK?
(caller to friend) ... No ... I've become an animal abuser!
(friend) -muffled voice- Willy ... He wants to talk to you.

by LayItOnYou March 20, 2007

Tea Bagged

A term used by CB'ers when another signal so solidly over powers the conversation already at hand so that the original conversation cannot be heard at all thus repesenting a virtual full cock in the mouth. Usually a funny thing is said or a slam.

What CB'er 1 said ... "and so I was walking the dog and when I came back home my wife was setting out key lime pie, and it was really good."

What CB'er 2 heard - ... "and so I was walking my dog and came back home and my wife was" 'GIVING ME A BLOW JOB' "and it was really good."

Thus producing the reply from CB'er 2 "Dude! You just got Tea Bagged!"
Followed by the Tea Bagger and everyone else on the channel laughing.

by LayItOnYou July 20, 2008

Tea Bagger

A person, usually on a CB Radio, who waits for the right time to insert a comment in someone elses conversation, thus changing the entire meaning of the sentence intent. This is done by a more powerful voice, signal, or a closer proximity to the hearer. Thus effectively filling the mouth and leaving embarassing virtual nut marks on the talker.

What was actually said "We went to play golf and on hole number seven I nailed the ball, I could hardly believe it! I really had to rub it in!"

What everyone else heard due to a slick Tea Bagger "We went to play golf and on hole number seven I 'shit my pants', I could hardly believe it! I really had to rub it in!"

by LayItOnYou December 15, 2008