Jake 's definitions

cloud nine

that altered state (of mind) into which the male is elevated when his girlfriend gives him a tantalizing, long, slow blow job which seems so perfect that he wishes to die rather than return to reality on Earth.

I was on Cloud Nine when she blew me, then licked the last drop off my tip and swallowed my cum.

by Jake February 17, 2004

troll

vertically-challenged person with accentuated body features

There was a troll down in Texas whose testicles hurt and ached almost all the time. The troll went to the doctor and told her about his problem. The doctor told him to drop his pants and she would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doc put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia.
&g! t; "Aha!" mumbled the doc and, as she put her finger under the right testicle, she asked the midget to cough again.
"Aha!" said the doctor again, and reached for her surgical scissors.
Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side, then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side. The troll was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the troll to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt.
The troll was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his testicles were no longer aching.
The doctor said, "How does that feel now?" The troll replied, "Perfect Doc, and I didn't even feel it. What did you do?"
The doctor replied, "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots."

by Jake February 18, 2004

rogering

To have sexual (vaginal) intercourse with.

(if she comes, its "a good rogering")

David: "Lawd, Jimmy, see that babe with the 38D's and that micro-skirt...damn, she needs a good rogering with an uncut penis."

Jimmy: "David, I've already rogered her with my 6-1/2" dick!"

by Jake February 18, 2004

cop a feel

To feel up a girl when she isn't expecting it, that is, grasp her tits or grab her in the crotch (and if a finger shud happen to enter her vagina, so much the better !!)

Best time to cop a feel is in a crowded place so you can run off and can't be found. When I went to my family reunion my 3rd cousin once removed was in a crowd and her juicy peaches were calling me, so I ran up, coped a feel and ran away to the punch table 2 aisles over. Later in the day I grabbed her crotch and my middle finger just happened to slip into her cunt.

by Jake February 19, 2004

blueballs

a condition where your balls (testicles) ache. Occurs after a few days of abstinance or after being very sexually aroused for a period of time without coming to orgasm.

I've got blueballs today, I haven't blown a load in 5 days.

My live-in was just playin' with me last night; when I was ready to mount her she said no and went to sleep! I got sooo blueballed I jerked off on her back.

by Jake February 20, 2004

pubes

the genital area

she: I've never seen his pubes, I unzip him and blow him but we've never been naked together.

he: She's got great pubes, the first giveaway was her camel toe, then once I had her pants off, her labia look great and she actually SHAVES it !

by Jake February 20, 2004

cow

1. a slothful woman
2. a woman with large tits
3. the female of the household (includes the more-female-like of a lesbian couple)

1. she's a cow, she lies around on the couch all the time and eats, watching TV

2. she's a real cow, man, you shud see her udders and especially her big pointy teats

3.(he):Well, last drink, I gotta go home and service the cow. She's on the rag and really horny.

by Jake February 20, 2004