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Evil Timmy's definitions

Trunk Tetris

A game played by owners of compact cars when they have a large amount of luggage, tools, dead hookers, etc. that won't readily fit in their small trunk. It involves placing different-shaped pieces in various configurations in the hopes that everything will somehow fit (hence Tetris). Failure leads to passengers with suitcases uncomfortably balanced on their laps, or the use of bungie cords.
Jane: How are we going to fit all my luggage into your '89 Camry?
John: I guess we'll have to play trunk tetris.
by Evil Timmy December 3, 2009
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socmob

Often used by ER patients or anyone lying to authority figures. An acronym for Standing On the Corner, Minding my Own Business. When you don't want someone to know what you've been doing or who you've been with when an event happened, it's the first thing to spring to mind. Frequently, SOCMOB also involves "some guy".
I was SOCMOB when a bullet happened to whiz by and catch me in the shoulder. Really. -Gang Member

There I was, SOCMOB, and this brick just fell from a building and hit me on the head. -Drunken husband who tried his hand at masonry late at night and doesn't want his wife to think he's an idiot
by Evil Timmy July 16, 2008
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Blue Balls

The state of pain and discomfort caused by an interrupted session of fellatio. Can happen for a number of reasons, including (a) calling the girl by a name that's not hers, especially the name of an ex she knows about (b) turning on the TV in the middle of getting head (c) interruption by a third party, especially parents or other authority figures (d) the girl having had too much to drink earlier and needing to throw up right there and then (with it ending up on your shoes, trousers, and possibly lap). Results in almost cramp-like pains in the groin and/or abdominal areas. Sometimes used as a way for a girl to inform a guy she's breaking up with him.
1) I have blue balls, because I forgot and called my girlfriend by my ex's name.
2) Jimmy got blue balled when the girl he was feeding drinks to had to throw up.
by Evil timmy September 21, 2005
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LNP

Late Night Player - Someone, generally male, who ignores members of the opposite sex until last call or until they might be going home, then switches on their game in hopes of scoring with minimum effort and time expended.
Dude, why did Jack just ditch that girl to go to the store?
No worries man, he's an LNP, come 2:30 he'll be all over her.
by Evil Timmy March 27, 2008
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sierra tango foxtrot uniform

An extended and very sarcastic form of stfu. Uses military/ham radio lingo for each letter.
A: Hey, did you hear about what I did with my girlfriend on the kitche-
B: SIERRA TANGO FOXTROT UNIFORM.
by Evil Timmy February 17, 2004
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clue by four

Used primarily by people in the tech support field, it refers to the desire to hit a stupid user over the head with a board, in the hopes that their brain will actually work properly.
The boss says he broke his 'coffee cup holder' again...would someone fetch me a clue by four?
by Evil Timmy February 18, 2004
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teh sex

Used to describe anything that is very, very good.
My parents gave me a new Ferrari 575M Maranello for my birthday. It's teh sex.
by Evil Timmy January 3, 2004
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